How to Not Be a Jack-Off in a Place of Retail

I work customer service at a rather large grocery store, and it is unbelievable how many people I encounter who have no respect for the people servicing them. It's like, "Well, this person is getting paid to help me, so why should I be nice about it?"

There are plenty of reasons to be nice to me when I'm behind the counter, but most importantly: what goes around comes around.

Here's a list of things you should keep in mind next time you need to return a package of moldy strawberries at the grocery store or a pair of pants with a ripped hem at JCPenney.

Please don't yell at us.
This should not require an explanation.

Keep it simple.
Most reasons for returns are similar in nature, and do not require a life-long story to accompany them. "It didn't fit," or "this milk tasted sour," will suffice. Also, the longer the story, the more I think you're trying to con me. Just ask the guy who tried to return two $40 bottles of Co-Q 10 without a receipt, as he explained his sister bought them, but his friend didn't need them, so he needed to return them, but the receipt had blown out of the bag. Mmmkay.

Don't start out with "I have a complaint."
Now I'm just bracing myself for spitting words of hatred, even if you have every intention of being polite.

Don't micromanage.
I'm the one getting paid to work here. Please don't tell me how to do my job, which is not run just like every other place you've taken a return to.

It is never the clerk's fault.

Don't yell at me because the dumb rewards program the store's corporate office has crapped out isn't working like it should. As clerks, we don't get paid enough to make the rules or be informed of new decisions promptly, so don't point the finger at us. Half the time, the customer isn't using the program correctly, anyway. Just calmly state what the problem is and your message might make it to the proper destination.

Get a life.
If your goal in life is to make everyone's day miserable just because you are, you need to invest in a new one.

Sorry for the crude ranty-ness, but I'm not allowed to say these things when I really want to.

When I'm feeling down about my job, this site always gives me a happy: http://notalwaysright.com/ What stories about unruly customers do you have?